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Joke of the Day

"My Grandfather told me ""Your generation relies too much on technology."" Me: ""No your generation relies too much on technology."" I then pulled out his life support."

"Did you hear about the cow who tried to jump over a barbed wire fence? It was an udder disaster."

"Where do you go during a zombie apocalypse? The living room."

"What comes in hard, comes out soft, and what do you blow hard? chewing gum, you sicko..."

"How many? How many pessimists does it take to change a light bulb? None - it's probably screwed it too tight anyhow!"

"What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? A lickalotopus."

"So a dentist just finished his first root canal... I guess you could say it was his crowning achievement."

"What did the boob say to the other? ""You're my breastfriend"" *Badumm Tits*"

"""I put my gear back in fourth."" - Willow Smith learning to drive, maybe."

"What does the Rose iphone 7 and the Titanic have in common? They both lost Jack."