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Joke of the Day

"She: ""Give it to me, I'm soo wet! give it to me!"" Me: She can scream all she wants but the umbrella is mine."

"The best revenge is to kidnap your enemy, tie him up, then pop bubble wrap in front of him and make him watch."

"Texans can't comprehend vegans. We just think their barbeque grills are broken."

"A guy gives free circumcisions He gets asked, ""well, if you don't get paid, how do you keep the food on the table?"" He answers, ""I keep the tips"""

"who called it carrying your cell phone in your front pocket instead of hot signals in your area"

"I just want to take you out... With an AK-47... & you thought on a date...hahaha."

"What is the same betweem long distance track and school Your going nowhere and your doing it slowly"

"Seems like the most reliable way to get rid of some people is just to lend them money....))"

"What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool? Bob."

"What do you call a women with one leg? Aileen Unless she's Asian, then you call her Irene."