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Joke of the Day

"""Whats the deal with all this airline food?"" -Sharks in Malaysia"

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"It's like the people in this restroom don't even want my help unbuttoning their pants. STOP RUNNING AWAY I JUST WANT TO HELP YOU"
"It was a rude awakening when I woke up and realized all my favorite porn stars were at least 4 years younger than me. Turning 16 sucked. =/"
"My wife said that if I lose my job, she's divorcing me. So I need suggestions here, people. What are some terminable offenses these days?"
"A woman always worries about the things that men forget and men always worry about the things women remember."
"What does ISIS and Little Miss Muffet have in common? They both have Kurds in their way."
"I like my women how I like my cars... Stuck in my garage once I'm done with them."
"What did the shoes say to the pants? SUP, BRITCHES!"
"If theres an otter, youre underwater. If a ferret you see, then on land you be."
"What did one asbestos tile say to the other asbestos tile? Your my asbestos friend"