4065

Joke of the Day

"I'm trying to get on your good side, but I haven't found it yet."

"I could've chosen a life of crime but it seems like it would interfere with my 9pm bedtime."

"It's not you.. It's me. And my inability to tolerate you any longer."

"I like my women like I like my steak Dead"

"I love waking up to the sound of birds arguing with their spouses."

"When I was a kid, I wanted my bed near the window to see the moon and stars. Now, I want my bed near the mobile charging plug."

"2 young Christians walk into a bar... But they're under age & can't drink, so they don't really do anything."

"My friend has a PHD. Even though he only has a Public Highschool Diploma, he has been living a pretty happy life. Side note: My father loves to make this joke, so I had to share."

"[Hospital] Me:How's my dad? Dr:I'm afraid he's in critical condition *shout from inside room ""You've never lived to up to your potential!"""

"When someone uses an elipsis at the end of a text message I assume they fell off a cliff."