53519

Joke of the Day

"When I was a kid, I wanted my bed near the window to see the moon and stars. Now, I want my bed near the mobile charging plug."

"If Edward Snowden worked at a grocery market.. *Loudspeaker* Paging Mr. Edward Snowden, Mr. Ed Snowden Constitutional breech on isle 1 & 4 Will Mr. Snowden please inform the public accordingly"

"What's the difference between a Ferrari and a boner? I don't have a Ferarri."

"Independence Day was basically aliens blew shit up and then we gave them a copy of Windows and won the war."

"What do you call a man with one arm? Hand Solo"

"Why don't you ever see hippopotamus hiding in trees? Because they are really good at it."

"Called to my managers office today He said ""you can't wear pyjamas to work you idiot!"" I replied "" everyone else does though"" He replied ""THEIR PATIENTS"""

"If someone acts shocked that you haven't read a certain book, the best response you can give them is, ""Yeah, I heard it sucks"""

"What do you call a story about a broken-down computer mouse? Depressing. \**crickets**"

"Where do post go when they die in Reddit? Everywhere else."