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Joke of the Day

"I like my women like I like my steak Dead"

"Could you kill a monster just by throwing eggs at him? Of course - he'd be eggs-terminated."

"I'm so glad I married a big strong program like WinRAR He can open all of my .jars!"

"You know what would really suck? Finding a needle in a haystack."

"What does Barbie say when the drought finally ends? It's raining Ken, hallelujah...."

"When someone says ""but i thought..."" in defense Well, a guy thought that shit is a sugar so he shat into his cofee. How did that help him, hm? Props to my dad for this one."

"[1st date] -I'm a fish whisperer. Wow, what does that mean? -*whispers* Fish. Oh... Haha um what do you- -*whispers right in her ear* Fish."

"I've decided to make an all-natural shampoo made from roots found in Africa. I'll call it Ethnic Cleansing."

"What did Ray Charles say when his wife told him she wanted a divorce? I did not see that coming."

"He knows when you are sleeping. He knows when you're awake. He knows if you've been bad or good... Does Santa work for the NSA?"