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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chickpea? I wouldn't pay $300 to have a garbanzo bean on my face."

"98% of lawyers give the other 2% a bad name"

"How can you spot a bad stripper? Because they half-ass it."

"Which is the most dangerous page of the newspaper? C4."

"The heart wants what it wants, y'know? On an unrelated topic, I'm not allowed in Petco anymore."

"A programmer had a problem... A programmer had a problem. He thought ""I know, I'll solve it with threads!"". has Now problems. two he"

"Necrophilia The insatiable urge to crack open a cold one"

"thought I was at a Nicki Minaj concert for 20 min before I realized I was just watching a homeless man yell at a pigeon"

"A woman said to me, ""Has anyone ever told you that you look like Brad Pitt?"" I said, ""No, nobody."" She said, ""They've clearly never seen The Curious Case of Benjamin Button."""

"A man deserves a woman who he enjoys spending time with, who can fulfill his desires, and who can cook. But most importantly, he must make sure that these women never meet."