40480

Joke of the Day

"Judge: Do you mix horse meat with chicken? Defendant: Yes, my lord..... Judge; How much. Def: 50:50 Jud: Please elaborate. Def: **One horse to one chicken.**"

"My dad's favorite joke What did one testicle say to the other? Why'd they hang us.... Slim did all the shootin."

"how is sex like math? You add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and pray there's no multiplying."

"Whiteboards. They're remarkable."

"[on 1st date] Him: So why is someone as pretty as you single? Me: Single? Who's single? [gets right up in his face] We marry at dawn."

"[news anchor] ""Up next, can more sex lead to a healthier & happier-"" *wife changes channel*"

"How do hipsters buy their drugs? by the instagram."

"What did the horny toad say when designing a sex toy? Ribbit *Credit goes to Brian, random guy sitting next to me on couch."

"If you like Christmas so much why don't you merry it?"

"good parents A mother said to her son, ""Look at that kid over there; he's not misbehaving."" The son replied, ""Maybe he has good parents then!"""