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Joke of the Day

"Ladies & gentlemen, this is your pilot speaking. Anyone who bought WiFi please google ""Fatal Engine Error:38"" & come to Cockpit ASAP. Thanks"

"Hillary Clinton will potentially be the first f***** president. I wrote female, but apparently someone deleted the email"

"Me: Hey Mr. DJ, do you take requests? Dj: Yes. M: Excellent, can you turn it down a bit."

"*Wakes up* ""Wow I feel pretty good"" *Moves body* ""Maybe I spoke too soon"""

"Where does the general keep his armies? In his sleevies."

"Today is the day when Marty Mcfly was supposed to arrive in the future and we still don't have hoverboards! I bet you that Michael J. Fox is just sitting at home shaking with anger"

"Roses are red violets are blue... Sugar is sweet and so are you... The roses have wilted the violets are dead Sugar is lumpy and so is your head."

"Drunk dude A cop stops a dead drunk and asks ""How high are you?"" The drunk replies. ""That is wrong English. You should say ""Hi. How are you?'"""

"What do you get when you cross a busy road with a broken leg and a blindfold? Hit."

"A German lands in Paris... Upon having his passport verified, the French officer asks him: -Occupation? -Oh, no no, just visiting!"