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Joke of the Day

"Hillary Clinton will potentially be the first f***** president. I wrote female, but apparently someone deleted the email"

"Why aren't there any knock knock jokes about America? Because Freedom Rings."

"Spent all day at Legoland with my son during Star Wars weekend. Gushed like a fangirl when I met Darth Vader. He's my Justin Bieber"

"How come reddit posters have no babies? Because OP never delivers."

"Why do gay guys use ribbed condoms? Better traction in the mud."

"I asked a hooker to talk dirty to me in Latin. She declined."

"[One to tell militant women]: how many women on their period does it take to screw in a lightbulb? [Meekly] ^just ^one..."

"I HATE when people use song lyrics as their status! It makes. me wanna SHOUT! Kick my heels back and SHOUT! Throw my arms up and SHOUT..Etc."

"What do you call a Chameleon that cant change colors? A reptile dysfunction..."

"To me Bernie Sanders is more like God It is not the guy I have problem with but the fan club freaks me out."