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Joke of the Day

"What kind of pickles does Miley Cyrus like in her relish? twerkins"

"The body burns a lot of calories digesting food. That's why I eat instead of exercising."

"I'm terrible at telling jokes... I always punch up the fuck lines"

"Hey baby, you got an inhaler? Because you got dat Ass-ma."

"A dslexic man walked into a bra. His wife's washing was hanging out to dry and he wasn't looking where he was going. The man's dyslexia was admittedly pretty irrelevant to the event."

"Attention Girl: Why do you look so sad? Boy explains his whole problem Girl: Oh, that's why you didn't notice my nail paint?"

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Cuba ! Cuba who ? Cuba wood !"

"Why couldn't I run the Compressed File? I was missing the important Bits."

"I got fired from my job at the sperm bank. I guess you can't keep saying ""Get a load of this guy"" every time someone walks in."

"Why didn't the two worms go into Noah's ark in an apple? Because everyone had to go in pairs !"