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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a black guy in a museum? Antique farm equipment"

"[Cop questioning suspected watermelon thief] COP: *squints* Was it you? GIRAFFE (who has watermelon-sized bulge halfway down his neck): Nope"

"Sorry I reported your newborn's pic on FB but nudity is nudity"

"The first question aliens will ask our leaders is why that peanut is wearing a top hat and monocle."

"Eleven Years ago Greece won Euro 2004 Today, Greece would be happy with 2004 Euros."

"Which educational institute did many Jehovah's Witnesses graduate from? The School of Hard Knocks."

"I'm sorry I burned down your house, but the Mythbusters told me not to try it at home and you should really lock your doors when you go out."

"Did you here about the gay midget? He finally came out of the cabinet"

"Why Ahmed made a clock? To know when to blow up"

"Why did the University of Kentucky have to put AstroTurf down on the stadium? To keep the cheerleaders from grazing at halftime."