40179

Joke of the Day

"PARENTS: When someone offers you drugs, you say no! ME (going out into the world): I'm ready [literally no one offers me drugs ever]"

"Whats the difference between Peanut butter and Jam? You can't Peanut Butter a dick up your ass."

"What does Lebron James do after winning the NBA Championship? He turns off his Xbox."

"What's the difference between a viola and a trampoline? You take your shoes off before jumping on a trampoline."

"Q: Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman? A: Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will never be able to support you."

"Did you hear what NASA said about the asteroid? [OC] ""No comet."""

"Slept with my internet date... Got a virus"

"Alpha Kenny Body Say it fast, slut."

"ABORTION BILL A congressional aide asks a politician, ""What are we going to do about the new abortion bill?"" The politician replied, ""Shhhhh -- just pay it."""

"Normal kids: ""What's for dinner, mom?"" Cannibal kids: ""What's for dinner? Mom?"""