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Joke of the Day

"Alpha Kenny Body Say it fast, slut."

"*ex GF pulls up to drive thru where I work* ""Big mac please"" ""Would u like LIES with that?!"" *my boss dragging me away* ""LIES, LUCY.. LIES!"""

"I tried to be a gentleman to this pretty lady, so I held the door open for her... But she just screamed at me as she got sucked out of the plane! Women are so ungrateful for nice guys nowadays."

"What kind of foods do arthritic cannibals love to eat? Finger foods..."

"Watch out for children on the road. They're terrible drivers."

"[Last Supper] Jesus:""We need 13 chairs please"" Judas:""But chairs don't fall into common usage until the 16th century AD"" Jesus:""AD?"""

"I just mixed peanut butter and Nutella together in case anyone's curious why I've suddenly started attending church."

"Why shoudn't you take you Pokemon cards to the shower? Cuz Pikachu might Pik a Chu"

"What's the difference between a violin and a viola? A viola burns longer."

"Math Beer So I put my root beer in a square cup. Now it's just beer."