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Joke of the Day

"A successful man is one who makes more money that his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man."

"How much force does it take for the Carolina Panthers to lose a Playoff game. One Newton"

"I figured it out. Renee Zellweger is stuck in the longest oncoming sneeze of all time."

"Jehovah's Witnesses don't celebrate Halloween I guess they don't like when random people come knocking on their door."

"Date: Lets break the ice. Polar bear: break th-[shatters Coke bottle] BREAK THE ICE? What are you saying?! D: I mea- PB: THATS MY HOME LINDA"

"What did the busy port master say to the rowdy pirates who wanted to dock? ""I don't have time for your ship."""

"[on a speed date] *2 min long fart* ""It was nice meeting you."""

"Why did the Chicken cross the Basketball Court? Because he heard the Ref was Blowing Fowls."

"Why is DeadMau5 bad at math? He drops the base when doing logs."

"How do People in New Orleans have their beer? Watered Down"