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Joke of the Day

"When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bike. Then I realised that The Lord doesn't work that way, so I stole one and asked him to forgive me."

"What did the buffalo say to his son when he left for college? Bison"

"I went to this zoo the other day, but there was only one dog inside. It was a shitzu."

"What does the dentist of the year get?...A little plaque."

"What do you call a cop who doesn't shoot innocent black people? 1. Acquitted 2. Fired, retired or expired"

"I don't really know about the effects of nocturnal drinking I'm just taking a shot in the dark."

"I get it Bryan Adams. It was the summer of 69, but what year?"

"A german asks his friend for the time So a german asks his friend ""Do you know what time it is?"" ""Nein"" ""really? I could've sworn it was 8"""

"LOST DOG: 4 year old border collie. Still living at home but doesn't know what to do with his life."

"Why are fire trucks red? You would be too if someone was pulling on your hose all day."