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Joke of the Day
"I get it Bryan Adams. It was the summer of 69, but what year?"
Next Joke
"They say there's a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow But all I found was a drunk midget with loose change."
"Why is sonic the answer to every google search? Because he shows up the fastest."
"Before you send that mass ""Merry Christmas!"" text don't."
"What do you call a black woman with 8 abortions? A crime fighter."
"I would like to be a zombie because when someone asked me if I had a boyfriend I could just eat them."
"I tripped in front of Stephen Hawking. He lol'd."
"My first time having sex was a lot like my first time in church.. Actually, come to think of it, it was my first time in church."
"Please don't advertise your ""three-egg omelet."" I want plausible deniability regarding how many eggs I am about to eat."
"What am I doing with the rest of my life? I don't even know what I'm doing with the rest of this tweet..."