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Joke of the Day

"What does a fish say when it swims into a concrete wall? Dam!"

"What is a 6.9? A really great thing ruined by a period."

"Girl can I get your digits? Jack the Ripper was a quite a pickup artist."

"I'm white, but... Nope. Can't do one of those today. Look, I'm at a B&B on Cape Cod right now. I'm a fanny pack away from translucent."

"Me: Can I buy you a drink? Girl: I don't drink. Me: Then can I just give you $7.50 to talk with me for a few minutes?"

"chocolate just tastes better when you pretend a fat German kid drowned in it"

"How many lesbians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? That's not funny."

"another bar joke a neutron walks into a bar and asks ' how much for a drink ' the bartender replies ' for you, no charge'"

"The important thing to remember is that nobody asked you."

"France and Italy go to war. Who wins? Neither. France surrenders and Italy switches sides"