183039

Joke of the Day

"France and Italy go to war. Who wins? Neither. France surrenders and Italy switches sides"

"I went to visit my grandfather in the hospital, but it was too late... He was already gone. His suffering is over now. He's gone home. He's doing much better, so the hospital discharged him!"

"Please continue finishing your text in the crosswalk, Mr. Pedestrian. It's not like I'm driving a giant metal instrument of death."

"Change is inevitable... Except from vending machines"

"Did you hear about the guy who tried to make an ocean of soda? It was pure Fantasea"

"As bad as 2016 seems to be, it could be worse... You could have got a phone call from Charlie Sheen."

"I went to an adrenaline junkie camping retreat. It was in tents."

"Did you hear about the kidnapping at Walmart? ...it's ok, he woke up."

"When I have complicated problems I always ask myself, what would my imaginary wife do? And then I end up buying myself cupcakes, and shoes."

"What food guide does a Chicagoan need in Japan? A Ramen Manual."