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Joke of the Day

"What is a 6.9? A really great thing ruined by a period."

"I've gone from agony to ecstasy in this last week. Hopefully, by the end of this month... ...I'll be done reading this dictionary."

"If you plug in a toaster and take it into the bathtub with you, it will get rid of your hiccups."

"Why doesn't George R.R Martin use Twitter? Because he killed off all 140 characters."

"Which letter has the best bum? Big Rs"

"PIGS A woman is walking her dog, when suddenly a man walks up to her. Man: ""Where'd you get the pig""? Woman: ""How DARE you call my dog that!"" Man: ""I was talking to the dog!"""

"Talking to my friend who started watching a new anime makes me feel like a German on D-Day The ships just keep coming."

"The beauty of a text message is that it transcends time. You respond at your leisure. Unless it's from your wife, then you have 30 seconds."

"If I owned my own strip club, I'd probably name it 'The Museum' 'Cause, you know, no touching. If 'The Museum' worked out, I might open another one and call it ""Blue Balls."" Pretty self explanatory."

"Could you imagine being the Secret Service agent that blocked a bullet for Donald Trump, 20 years later? You wouldn't tell anyone."