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Joke of the Day

"Me: Can I buy you a drink? Girl: I don't drink. Me: Then can I just give you $7.50 to talk with me for a few minutes?"

"knock knock for the watch"

"How did Sigmund Freud die? He slipped"

"Why is reddit so liberal? Because upvotes are to the left"

"The year is 2030: All corporations have merged and every night before bed you say a prayer to your cable company."

"""DO NOT TOUCH"" Must be the scariest thing to read ... ... in Braille."

"Why wasn't Hitler invited to the BBQ? Because he always burns the franks."

"Where do red head pirates come from? IIIIIiiireland Edit: Posted while drunk, fixed spelling."

"My brief gig as a lounge singer ended when I asked 4 requests & realized I didn't know the song ""Get Off the Stage or Die."" Elvis, maybe?"

"What do you call a Jihadist that loves turkey? A Tryptophanatic."