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Joke of the Day

"(real news) Chinese archaeologists have discovered the country's oldest mathematics document, written on bamboo more than 2,200 years ago! Even more amazing - one of the answers is wrong."

"I told you I'm busy! Who are you going to believe, me or the last 20 tweets I posted?"

"So I met this really nice girl at the zoo! She was a keeper."

"Q: Have you seen the new Barbie Doctor doll? A: You wind her up, and she operates on batteries."

"You hear the one about the sexually adventurous Eskimo? You name it, he was Inuit!"

"What muscle do Egyptian soldiers generally lose control of, shortly before major battles? The sphinxster ...."

"Why do women make such great plumbers? They like to bring up shit from the past."

"Saw a guy this morning covered from head to toe in camouflage and sporting a fluorescent safety jacket... You can't have it both ways mate"

"What do you call a midget psychic that's on the run from the law? A small medium at large."

"[Enters Building] ""Excuse..."" *Voice fades* ""... anyone..."" ""... how to..."" ""... out this..."" ""... ving door?"""