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Joke of the Day

"How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just two. The trouble's getting them in there."

"the reason i dont wear specific colors on 9/11 when someone asks me why im not wearing red on 9/11 i tell them ""because im not celebrating a muslim holiday"""

"I'm getting sick of eating airline food all the time Said the Malaysian shark."

"""Where do people already feel awkward & uncomfortable?"" ""Church?"" ""K let's make 'em like that"" -- funeral home designers"

"What do you call a herd of masturbating cattle? Beef Strokenoff!"

"Some say Steve Jobs died too young. Others say it was simply an homage to Apple's attitude towards battery life."

"All I'm saying is if you really want someone to dance with you, you probably shouldn't tell them to shut up."

"What do you tell a women with two black eyes? Nothing, you already told her twice."

"TIL I'm bad at posting at the right subreddit"

"I told my mate that I couldn't make his wedding as I'm going to a brothel. ""You fucking arsehole"" he said. ""Depends how much money I have""."