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Joke of the Day

"Can strawberry jam? No, but lemon curd."

"How many tickles does it take to make a squid laugh? Tentickles"

"Some dude told me he's had 100 times more girls than me which made me laugh so much because 100 x 0 is still 0."

"Someone once told me I'm a sociopath. I'm not sure how I feel about it."

"Every time I pour a round of drinks, it goes all over the place. I think I need glasses."

"These animal crackers are bullshit, this elephant tastes exactly like that giraffe did."

"I can't handle the pressure of competitions. Even in eating races I choke!"

"What does a cow call his girlfriend? His significant udder."

"What's 6"" long, bent to the left, and in the front of my pants?? My iPhone 6."

"My wife laughed at me because I struggled to get a proper full on erection, I told her ""Its a lot harder than it looks"""