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Joke of the Day

"Gravity is a harsh mistress... *... but she has reasonable rates!*"

"What did the Irish man and the mongol woman name their child? Lepre Kahn"

"Why shouldn't you shower with a Pokemon? It might Pikachu."

"Nintendo Did you hear about the guy who married his Nintendo? Apparently he did it on Wed-Nes-day."

"What's the difference between a bag of coke and a baby? Eric Clapton would never let a bag of coke fall out of the window."

"Husband to wife: ""I am impressed, you only talked to your friend on the phone for 20 minutes."" Wife: ""Oh, I dialed the wrong number"""

"Borderline Crazy!!! A passenger plane crashes on the border of Tanzania and Kenya. Where are the survivors buried?"

"I don't have instagram, so I thought you guys should know I had Starbucks this morning. The cup was super cool looking. I also saw a rainbow"

"What makes a ISIS joke funny? The execution."

"If a cannibal kills me he better have the right kind of Zip-loc bags! If I get tossed out because of freezer burn I'm going to be pissed!"