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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a bag of coke and a baby? Eric Clapton would never let a bag of coke fall out of the window."

"How do hipsters measure weight? In Instagrams."

"What do you call a really fast seamstress? Tailor Swift"

"s/o to bees for producing food that we can eat. no other bug is generous like that LOVE YOU BEES"

"Girl Scouts sell more than just Cookies. I know, it sounds crazy, but it's just nuts."

"Why did the pioneers cross the country in covered wagons ? Because they didn't want to wait 40 years for a train !"

"4 out of 5 people say Han shot first He actually shot 5th"

"How many white people does it take to replace a light bulb? One to hold the bulb, and the rest to screw the whole world."

"If you need someone who is good at looking into a full fridge and complaining that there's nothing to eat, I'm your Mayor!"

"[job interview] ""Why should I hire you?"" ""Because I have pictures of you with a goat?"""