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Joke of the Day

"So sad that out of 200 countries in this world,, America ranks 35th in the world in math... But at least that keeps us still in the top 10%"

"How do you get a baby to stop choking? Take your dick out of its mouth."

"This comes from a good place in my heart, homeless people build the best forts I've ever fucking seen."

"Things that don't kill bees: 1. Furniture polish 2. Febreeze 3. Butter 4. Screaming"

"I knew the Psychic was no good the moment she accepted my check"

"[OC] My therapist asked me what was my earliest erotic remembrance and I told him it was wearing my mother's lingerie when I was a child. he said it was probably a Freudian slip."

"In support of France, Canada opens new French province called ""Quebec."""

"Thirty seven years ago, my wife walked out on me because apparently, I hold on to grudges too long. What a bitch."

"Furniture salesperson: Do you see anything you like? Waldo: Actually yes this red and white couch is quite nice."

"Thinking of getting another bed just for all my laundry"