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Joke of the Day

"Furniture salesperson: Do you see anything you like? Waldo: Actually yes this red and white couch is quite nice."

"There are two types of people in the world... ...those who pee in the shower, and liars."

"I need Hike Employee: I need Hike. H.R : Install it from play store."

"And for dinner... Mary had a little lamb."

"There's no way the Ninja Turtles would have those ripped abs. You can't do crunches with a shell attached to your back. Trust me I've tried."

"Q: What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away? A: Root position cords."

"My phone changed ""you wanna hang"" to ""you wanna bang"" and send........"

"Why doesn't Mexico have its own Olympic team? Because all those who can run, jump, or swim are already in the US."

"Hold me closer, tiny dancer. Oh my... not that close. I can't breathe. How are you so strong? LET ME GO TINY DANCER"

"My cat just sneezed directly into my eyeballs so I'll probably be dead soon. Goodbye, guys. No, you can't have my stuff."