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Joke of the Day

"Do they have a shitty attitude because they work for minimum wage, or work for minimum wage because they have a shitty attitude?"

"First monster: That pretty girl over there just rolled her eyes at me. Second monster: Well you'd better roll them back to her she might need them."

"What do you call a bisexual Scandinavian A bi-king. I know that was terrible. Also I'm not being racist because i'm from Scandinavia."

"Q: How many Ayatollahs does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: None-there weren't any light bulbs in the 13th century."

"Little Johnny strikes again The teacher came up to johnny's desk and asked can you tell me what seperates you from a monkey. Johnny said with confidence ""the desk""."

"""Son, hey son"" Yeah dad? ""Know why we named you Adopted?"" *Sighs* Because I'm adop- ""BECAUSE YOU'RE ADOPTED"" Good one dad ""I'm not your dad"""

"I just got asked to work on a ""special project"" which is boss for ""This was assigned to me but you're smarter so here you do it."""

"How does Chris Martin play monopoly? With a paira, paira, pairadice"

"What do identical stars do? Twin-kle"

"What's 18 inches, stiff and makes girls cry all night? Cot death"