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Joke of the Day

"""Son, hey son"" Yeah dad? ""Know why we named you Adopted?"" *Sighs* Because I'm adop- ""BECAUSE YOU'RE ADOPTED"" Good one dad ""I'm not your dad"""

"Why is Germany uninhabitable for cats? They have nein lives!"

"Spider just landed on my shoulder. I didn't want to kill it so I just fainted instead."

"Why is there no such thing as a great golfer? The best ones are consistently sub-par."

"This joke's offensive to the blind and deaf. But how would they know?"

"I thought about getting a pocket calculator... ...but then I realized I don't care how many pockets I have."

"I am fresh out of milkshakes, but I'm pretty sure that my willingness to put out on the first date will bring all the boys to the yard."

"Since it started raining, all my wife has done is look sadly through the stupid window... If it gets any worse, I'll have to let her in..."

"Where should we look to stem global overpopulation? The youth in Asia....."

"My grandson asked me what it's like to be married so I told him to leave me alone. When he did, I asked him why he was ignoring me"