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Joke of the Day

"Little Johnny strikes again The teacher came up to johnny's desk and asked can you tell me what seperates you from a monkey. Johnny said with confidence ""the desk""."

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"[Adam and Eve in bed] Adam, am I really the only girl for you? GOD EVE, YOU'RE LITERALLY THE ONLY GIRL ON THE FACE OF THE EARTH"
"Say what you will against pedophiles, but at least... they drive slowly in school zones."
"[Scene: Cloud City. Two men fight each other with lightsabers] Mario: You-a kill my father! Wario: No. I am-a your father. Mario: Mama-mia!"
"Sometimes it looks like I'm flashing gang signs, but really I'm just trying to get Scotch tape off my hand."
"So nice of the Oscars to give this tribute to Selma then not nominate it for anything"
"I like to jump onto people's backs as an unexpected piggy back. but sometimes I get carried away"
"So I just saw the new fifty shades of grey movie It was pretty Greyt"
"I love the new sound reddit makes when you upvote a post"
"Why do Jewish guys get circumcised? Because Jewish women love anything 10 percent off."