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Joke of the Day

"I got punched in the face last week - I now spend most of my time stroking gappy teeth with my tongue. I should probably stop making out with pensioners."

Next Joke
 
"I told a little white lie... or a little black lie, because all lies matter"
"Cat: Meow Me: Hi Cat: Meoww *picks up cat* Cat: Meowww *puts cat down* Cat: Meowwww *feeds cat* Cat: Meowwwww Me: WHAT DO YOU WANT?"
"""Hello flight 56 if you hear me rock your wings.."" ""OK TOWER IF YOU HEAR ME ROCK THE TOWER!!"""
"Who do you call when theres a fly in your house? The SWAT team"
"Im offended by physicists being all about black matter I think All Matter"
"How can you tell your girlfriend is getting fat? She starts to fit in your wife's clothes"
"It appears that Jared Fogle has gain 30lbs since going to jail I guess that's what happens when you stop the child portions"
"[Shop class] Satan: Whatcha makin'? God: Trust. Man can use it to form lasting bonds and friendships. What you making? Satan: A bong."
"A man died in a tragic skydiving accident. Some say he left an impact on the world."
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