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Joke of the Day

"I got punched in the face last week - I now spend most of my time stroking gappy teeth with my tongue. I should probably stop making out with pensioners."

"That's a nice sham you've got there... It'd be a shame if somebody added an e"

"Trump wants to build a wall between Canada and the U.S. also Please... please do it... us Canadians will even gladly pay for it"

"Cogito Ergo Spud. I think, therefore I yam."

"Please don't drink and drive. Last night I put my hand out of the car to indicate i was turning right and some moron pulled the the bottle out of my hand"

"Why do tampons find it so hard to make friends? They're all stuck-up cunts."

"What do you call spaghetti that carries a fake ID? an impasta!"

"Billion dollar idea: A phone that charges using body fat!"

"Did you hear about the furry who got detained at the border? The guards thought he was a drug mule."

"When a transgender goes missing.. You put their photo on a carton of Half and Half."