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Joke of the Day

"Please don't drink and drive. Last night I put my hand out of the car to indicate i was turning right and some moron pulled the the bottle out of my hand"

"My Wife wears some very revealing shirts. Today's shirt says 'Nick's ATM code is 1234' on it."

"Two fish are in a tank... One of them says ""hey, how do you drive this thing.."""

"What do you call the blood that comes out when teenagers cut themselves? Emoglobin."

"They say robots are going to replace lawyers... Make sense, they don't have hearts"

"What do you call a man who jokes that women always make mountains out of molehills? An ambulance."

"What's a gay guy's favorite news station? The BBC."

"Dear God, Laying an egg once a month would have been preferable. Thanks for nothing. ~ All women"

"WebMD says pregnancy symptoms are fatigue, tender breasts, irritability, cravings, and headaches. All chicks are pregnant. All. The. Time."

"I'm thinking about bottling my own urine and selling it. I'll call it ""I Can't Believe It's Not Bud Light."""