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Joke of the Day

"1) In the interest of time, would ye noble patriots please provide a list of infractions punishable by spontaneous public execution? Thanks!"

"Former boy scout leader goes shopping A former boy scout leader goes shopping. He sits down and grabs his beef jerky. ""Tastes like boy scouts,"" he says."

"3 Canadians, 5 Americans, 2 Franks, 1 Arab, 6 Brits, 4 Aussies and 2 Chinese are in line to board a plane from Texas to New York. Who gets randomly searched?"

"The average human body contains enough human bones to make up an entire human skeleton."

"Did you hear about the upcoming play based on the life of Elton John? It's a little bit funny."

"Why do meth heads love Halloween? Three sleeps 'till Christmas!"

"The first step to admitting you have a problem is having a problem."

"I have to write 4 pages in 3 hours, but at least I'm not deployed in Iraq."

"What was Jesus' favorite sport? Crossfitting."

"I used to pray for a new bike... then i found out that's not how god works so I stole one and prayed to be forgiven"