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Joke of the Day

"1) In the interest of time, would ye noble patriots please provide a list of infractions punishable by spontaneous public execution? Thanks!"

"""i like a woman that's loud in the bedroom"" *wife smashes a bulldozer through the bedroom wall with 2 air horns blaring* ""damn i love you"""

"Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No? Neither have they."

"How is a woman like a condom? They both spend more time in your wallet than on your dick!"

"What do you Call a Bunch of Horny Teenagers Argueing? A *Mass Debate*"

"What the difference between Australia and a glass of milk? Leave the glass of milk alone long enough and it'll develop a culture."

"Why are there no knock-knock jokes about freedom? because freedom rings. Happy Independence day everybody!"

"What do you do if you come across an elephant in the jungle? You wipe it off and say sorry."

"What connects The Sixth Sense and Titanic? Icy dead people."

"What do you call a dog with no tongue? Dirty bollocks"