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Joke of the Day

"What did the sadist do to the masochist? Nothing."

"Me: How are you? Co-worker: *Gives 20 minute dissertation on their gastro infection*"

"Q: How did Bill Clinton get a crick in his neck? A: Trying to save both faces."

"Do you remember when you were a kid and you'd just sit a blow bubbles all afternoon? Well, Bubbles is back in town and wondering how you're doing these days..."

"put the punch line in the title how do you piss off reddit?"

"The cure for premature ejaculation is coming soon."

"If I had a dollar for everytime I heard someone sing a Macklemore song out loud... ...I would have 20 dollars in my pocket"

"And that, class is why we keep our mouths shut whilst changing a sewer pump."

"What has 2 legs and looses a lot of blood? Half a dog"

"""This tweet isn't funny yet. Welp, better remove all the commas and capital letters! Ah, PERFECTION!"" --me"