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Joke of the Day

"I guess it goes without saying that I'm the Han Solo of Twitter, and you guys are Ewoks. Not even the Ewoks with names. Background Ewoks."

"What happened to the cow that jumped over the barbed wire fence? Udder destruction"

"the butter churner asked the milk ""whats wrong..."" the milk responded ""im just a bit stirred up but ill be butter in a while"""

"Why did the president start the bar fight? So he could pass the bill."

"I saw a couple of adjectives and a pronoun nervously smoking outside court yesterday. Probably awaiting sentencing."

"Two cannibals are eating a clown... One stops and asks the other, ""Does this taste funny?"""

"Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, this one doesn't"

"Why is the Ocean Salty? Because the Beach didn't wave back."

"What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground Beef! Bonus joke: What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean Beef!! Double Bonus: What do you call a cow with one leg stuck in the ground? Steak!!!"

"I don't know anything about golf... ...but I just watched it on TV for a couple minutes. It looks really easy. I'm sure I could get a very high score."