39467

Joke of the Day

"Why is it I cant get a mobile reception in my house in town, yet a terrorist can upload his vids from a cave in Afganistan? Is there a terrorist mobile tariff I can go on??"

"""What do we want?"" ""Yesterday!"" ""When do we want it?"" ""NOW!"" ~ Conservatives"

"What is the difference between acne and a catholic priest? Acne doesn't come on your face until you're 13"

"Brain: HEY 2am let's think about Greg Me: Ok Brain: He saw you scratching your nose today & thinks you picked it Me: Wa...what? Brain: Owned"

"A pessimist's blood type is always b-negative."

"A guy with a wooden eyeball is self conscious... ...so he asks the homeliest girl at the ball if she would like to dance. She looks him straight in the face and says ""would I?!"""

"I don't need a tat to look hard. Just a pic of your mom..."

"What is the difference between Donald Trump and a vibrator? A vibrator is not a genuine dick"

"It's a beautiful day to sit outside and stare into your phone."

"A cat falls into water, which makes the rooster laugh Moral of the story: a wet pussy makes a happy cock"