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Joke of the Day

"Why is it I cant get a mobile reception in my house in town, yet a terrorist can upload his vids from a cave in Afganistan? Is there a terrorist mobile tariff I can go on??"

"An owl and a mouse are sitting on a branch when a farmer walks by below. The owl turns to the mouse and says nothing. Because owls can't speak. The owl then eats the mouse because it's a bird of prey."

"Husband catchs pregnant woman eating grass, what is it? Just pregnancy desire"

"How can you tell which Russian olympic spectators are actually KGB agents? The ones with food."

"Not now kids. Mom is racing her rubber duckies in the bathtub and this time I really think Javier is going to win."

"why didn't the antelope like to go on the rollercoaster because he is anti loops"

"Billy Joel was hospitalized last week. He had a heart attack ack ack ack ack ack. You oughtta know by now."

"I used to give really good advice. Then I got my wisdom teeth taken out."

"Fat girls don't have it so bad At least they can wipe their tears with their tits"

"What is Michelle Obama's favorite vegetable? Barackoli"