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Joke of the Day

"why didn't the antelope like to go on the rollercoaster because he is anti loops"

"That scene which she dies is full of suspense... What a breathtaking moment."

"I painted my computer black... in hopes it would run faster"

"How do you make a hormone? Slap her in the face and refuse to pay her."

"We need a channel that plays kitten videos. All kittens, all the time. When shit gets intense, turn on the kittens. #kittenchannel"

"$10 COMPLAINT A man goes to a $10 hooker and contracts crabs. When he goes back to complain, the hooker laughs and says, ""What do you expect for $10 -- lobster?"""

"I've run out of things to be upset about. I hope Justin Bieber has kids soon."

"It only takes a second to show someone how you feel about them... The Police call it indecent exposure, but whatever..."

"Why did the creator of 9gag call it that? Because that was how many dicks he could fit in his mouth before he gagged."

"squirrel making love A squirrel was making love with a nut. another one passing by is shocked: are you fucking crazy? the first one: no stupid, I'm fucking nuts."