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Joke of the Day

"My fat next door neighbor is lying face down on her front lawn. Don't know if she's passed out or eating the grass."

"You know you're old when the band you love plays an encore and it just stresses you out because you have work tomorrow and need to get home."

"Scissors Commercial: *Montage of people karate chopping paper in half* Narrator: Don't you wish there was a better... Nevermind that was rad"

"Friend: ""Omg, your parents are so nice!"" ... You: ""It's because you`re here.."""

"The three biggest lies in Wyoming... ""I won this belt buckle in a rodeo, my trucks paid for and I was just helping that sheep over the fence."""

"FRIEND: and this is my pug PUG: oink ME: (thinkig to self) did that pug just say ""oink"""

"A man entered a pun contest and submitted 10 puns, hoping at least one would win... No pun in ten did."

"Based on pick up truck commercials, I really should be getting into the crumbled rock industry."

"Why did the kitchen cross the road? It saw a pikachu across the street."

"Rattlesnakes and Condoms ...two things I don't fuck with."