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Joke of the Day

"Scissors Commercial: *Montage of people karate chopping paper in half* Narrator: Don't you wish there was a better... Nevermind that was rad"

"What jumps up and down in front of a car ? Froglights !"

"Two aerials get married... .. the Reception was amazing."

"Vanilla Ice arrested for grand theft. Cops say, ""He jumped in the car, slammed on the gas bumper to bumper, the avenue's packed."""

"Two blonde girls are heading to Disneyland... While driving they see a sign ""Disney Left"". They cry and head home. (Little bro told me this one. Not sure if it has been told before.)"

"What does my mom and a turkey have in common? They both died on Thanksgiving"

"What would be a terrible name for a new beer? Q: What would be a terrible name for a new beer? A: ""Mondays""...because no one would EVER want to buy a case of the Mondays..."

"Ur hot plz marry me. *no reply* OH MY GOSH SORRY FOR THE POCKET TEXT LMAO"

"What's the difference between Biggie Smalls and Charlie Chaplin? One rocks the mic, while the other mocks the reich."

"What do you call a cow with a twitch? Beef jerky."