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Joke of the Day

"You know you're old when the band you love plays an encore and it just stresses you out because you have work tomorrow and need to get home."

"Was going to make a joke about my paycheck... Turns out I have insufficient puns"

"Why should you send your sweetie a valentine? Because you always heart the one you love."

"Which people do the burgers hate? The ones who are always putting the bite on them!"

"You so ugly when who were born the doctor threw you out the window and the window threw you back."

"Romeo: Your cheeks are like petals. Juliet: Really? Romeo: Yes bicycle pedals."

"I said to the porn producer I couldn't take any more dick... So I got the sack."

"What do you call a semi-professional proctologist? Someone doing a half-assed job."

"It's like my Grandpa used to say ,""The fight with grandma isn't over until I fill her pillow with spiders and she gives me back my teeth."""

"Nothing enrages me more than a pop-up ad that MOVES SO YOU CAN'T CLICK THE X."