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Joke of the Day

"What did one end of the rope say to the other? We were bound to get together..."

"I am fairly well educated, but not 'knows every nuance of the English language' educated. I also have no idea what 'nuance' means."

"GARY: ""You wanna?"" BARRY: ""Ugh. Jesus OK."" (Siamese twins deciding to masturbate)"

"Answer: Marijuana Question: Why am I sitting here on the couch eating ice cream with a fork, watching Telemundo and wearing one sock?"

"When a waitress asks me if I want soup or salad, I always ask ""who's in charge of tossing the salads here?"" Then I frown & order the soup."

"What's the spaciest kind of camel? Andromedary"

"I just saw a spider on the wall, I went to hit it -- it just fell and ran away. I was all, 'Oh my God, he knows what I look like.'"

"How does Harry Potter get down a hill? By running. J.K! Rowling."

"Two cannibals are eating a clown One turns to the other and says, ""Does this taste funny to you?"" The other one replies ""Yeah, it kinda does."" Two days later they both died of food poisoning."

"So a white man walks into a plastic surgeon's office... [FIXED] He tells the plastic surgeon, ""I want to become a black man."""