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Joke of the Day

"I don't care how polite your sign is, i'm flushing the toilet paper."

"What's the difference between a woman and a computer? A computer accepts a 3.5 in. floppy."

"okay, so you're definitely the best at keeping your body completely still, what do you want, atrophy?"

"What idiot called it the Police/Fire Department Headquarters and not GUNS 'N HOSES?"

"On Sunday November 6th, USA will move an hour back ... ... and on Tuesday November 8th, we move back half a century."

"A few weeks ago my barber cut my hair too short. I didn't like how it looked at all, but now it's growing on me."

"What's your best ""A guy walks into a bar"" joke"

"Apple is advertising the new iPhone as ""The most powerful four inches ever."" I can't believe they stole my slogan."

"The United States government."

"[lost in Spain] Wife: ask that man where we are Me [pretending to speak Spanish with a local]: gracias Wife: well? Me: we are in Spain"