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Joke of the Day
"My wife asked why I keep my guns in the library. I said it's for shelf-defense."
Next Joke
"I went to a sandwich shop, but they screwed up my order Oh wait, I've got the wrong sub."
"My body is a temple. What I mean by that is, it looks and feels like something the Romans destroyed 2,500 years ago."
"What do you call cheese that's not yours ? Nacho cheese"
"What has 2000 eyes and 4000 feet? A thousand dogs."
"What did the kitten say when it slipped on a banana peel?? ""Meowch!"""
"A priest, a nun, and a rabbi walk into a bar... The bartender says, ""What is this? Some kind of joke?"""
"I'm a completely broke farmer. The other day I tried buying fertilizer on my only credit card and it was declined. I literally can't buy shit."
"Coolest jobs: 1)Beer maker 2)Secretary of War 3)Ninja 4)Guy who pushes scared skydivers"
"What do you call a bearded gardener? Hairy Potter"