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Joke of the Day

"Two drunks come out of a bar... One says to the other: ""We gotta go back, I forgot to pee."" The other one replies: ""No problem, dude, I can teach you how to do it!"""

"An egg sits perfectly balanced on the apex of a roof, the wind blows south, which way does the egg fall? Down. The egg falls down."

"Don't trust Bernie Sanders... A Jew wanting to break up the banks doesn't make sense *not meant in any way that would be seen as prejudice *obligatory post trigger warning"

"If I had 1,000,000 dollars, I would pay to have sex with your mom. And then I would invest the other 999,995 bucks."

"What do you give a sick horse? Cough stirrup."

"Be careful who you trust, the devil was once an angel."

"Russia announces it will be celebrating Thanksgiving this year And yes, they will be roasting Turkey."

"Why will no one watch the Olympic games this year only old men will be competing"

"According to my family tree I'm the sap."

"What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? we are both lawyers"