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Joke of the Day

"Two drunks come out of a bar... One says to the other: ""We gotta go back, I forgot to pee."" The other one replies: ""No problem, dude, I can teach you how to do it!"""

"What do you do when you see a black man lying on the floor? You stop laughing and shoot him again."

"When I was a child, my dad tried to force-feed me. After a while, my mum said, ""Just use a fucking spoon, Mike. You're not a Jedi."""

"*Looks up from pestle and mortar ""Phew! Powdering this baby is hard!"""

"I have an original joke. Just kidding. I couldn't find one to repost."

"You know what I hate about abortion clinics.. They really suck the life out of you."

"Olympic wrestling is the only time there is a ""Clean and Jerk""... in every other case, it's the other way round."

"My boss bought a breathalyzer for our office because everyone comes back from lunch drunk. My personal best is .16"

"An example of men's inability to understand women - Me: I have Nothing To Wear!! Him: Awesome!"

"It is not ok to joke about menstruation. Period."