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Joke of the Day

"Olympic wrestling is the only time there is a ""Clean and Jerk""... in every other case, it's the other way round."

"Ever seen a horse with a carrot on a stick dangling over its head? Last night on the treadmill's TV, I saw an ad for Kentucky Fried Chicken."

"I always find New Year's Eve stressful. I've been diagnosed with old langxiety."

"How to you get rid of the dandelions on your lawn? Paint one of them black; the others will move away."

"Why can't a bicycle stand on its on? Because its two tired"

"I am not a parody account. I am The Lord thy God, King of the Universe, and I am communicating by Twitter because My fax is broken."

"I asked the lady from the collection agency out on a date. She turned me down, but keeps calling. I told her I'm too old for games."

"How about a restaurant where the minute you walk in you lose cell service and your camera app is disabled we'll call it ""ENJOY YOUR LIVES"""

"What did the lobster say when he saw the mermaid? Gotta lay off the sea-weed."

"I'm tired of this one night stand mentality in college... I have multiple lamps and alarm clocks, I need at least two night stands."