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Joke of the Day

"your grandma has a pic of you in her house when you were in junior high and not at any other age"

"I went on a date with a girl who was born without feet. I forgot my wallet and asked if she could foot the bill. There was no second date."

"How many pornstars does it take to screw a light bulb? Nobody knows, they keep cutting themselves. PS: original joke"

"You know you're hung over when people recognize you but they think you're E.T."

"A grasshopper walks into a bar, and the bartender says, ""Hey, we have a drink named after you!"" The grasshopper looks surprised and asks, ""You have a drink named Steve?"""

"So I was having sex with this girl.. When suddenly she asks me: ""Doesn't it bother you that I'm 13??"" So I replied: ""Not really, I've never been superstitious"""

"Looking at all the post on my news feed, it is very hot today. News Flash people, it is summertime. That is what happens in summer months. Keep me posted in January also when it is cold out. Thanks"

"It's impossible to rekindle an old flame... ... the restraining order and lifelong lighter ban saw to that."

"Punny wednesday The phone rang 'green green' and so I pink up the phone. ""Yellow? Blue is this? Can you speak louder? I can't hear you purplerly, I'll call you black later."""

"I know we're not supposed to say this, but our second black president looks just like our first black president to me."