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Joke of the Day

"Even the coffee is leaving a bad taste in my mouth. Wait...am I being poisoned? *drinks it anyway*"

"NASA is planning to lasso an asteroid and bring it to the moon? I was unaware NASA had hired Wile E. Coyote to plan their missions."

"I deleted my facebook account. Could one of you tell them it's raining and cold here?"

"How can you tell if your wife has been screwing all your friends? All their dicks taste just like her twat."

"What did the French stoner say? 80 blaze it"

"What did the bus conductor say to the frog? Hop on."

"Women and not being attractive If I had a dollar for every girl that found me unattractive, they would eventually find me attractive."

"Calling your baby ugly makes me rude? How about you making me look at your ugly baby makes YOU rude."

"My sister said she wanted to have sex with me. I tried to say no, but she was incestant."

"Sometimes the best helping hand you can give is a good, firm push."