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Joke of the Day

"Why did the firefly keep stealing things ? What goes ""snap crackle and pop"" ? A firefly with a short circuit !"

"What's the difference between a hippo and a zippo? One is heavy, and the other is a little lighter."

"When someone says ""We can still be friends"" after a break up it's like saying...""The dog died but can we still keep it?"""

"You know something, Jon Snow Lord Commander: ""So, Jon Snow, is it true you have lain with a Wildling girl?"" Jon Snow: ""Yes, sir, it is true. But I have no Ygrittes."""

"Is lunch the favorite subject of piglets? No it's theatre. They love to ham It up and hog all the attention."

"(car dealer) is the passenger seat also heated? ""Aww for ur wife?"" *imagines putting a fast food bag on warm seat after the drive-thru* yes"

"Every Thanksgiving I say my boyfriend broke up with me so my family lets me overeat without shame."

"Have you guys seen the Hitler biopic starring Mike Tyson? I just watched it and I don't think Mike really got his character down. He kept saying he hated juice."

"A local convent, which had no security system, suffered a kidnapping. No fence, nun taken."

"If you clone a twin... Do you get triplets?"