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Joke of the Day

"Star Wars 7 is when they all realize that they are just Andy's toys."

"I have a good friend who was retired but he needs extra $$$ so he took a job as a taxi driver. Last night, he pulled out to avoid a kid. ... and fell off the sofa."

"It's here! May The Fourth Be With You!!"

"A man came into a bar... wait no it was a horse, a man came into a horse."

"strange love! Muhammad Ali said that he loved human beings but every time he beat the shit out of every human in the ring. I guess love finds many ways to express itself."

"Stood in very long line today at the DMV behind James Bond renewing his license to kill... shouldn't they have a separate line for that?"

"Me: *doing magic trick* Is THIS your card? Guy: They're all my cards, give me my wallet back."

"What does a frog say when it washes car windows? Rub it rub it rub it."

"This week a team at NASA announced a mission to land a probe on the sun To avoid the extreme heat of the sun, they explained, the probe will land at night."

"TIFU by Mixing up my Pastor's Sandwich Order at Subway! Whoops, wrong *sub*."